Changing my attitude about how to be a good Mum

Before I had my first child I remember having visions of what sort of a mother I would be. Truth be told I have been having visions of what kind of a mother I would be since I was 5. It was my number one life goal for as long as I can remember.

Growing up I idolised my own mother and wanted to be just like her; a stay at home Mum with 4 kids. She was and still is the best Mum anyone could ever ask for. But until fairly recently I thought that in order to be as good of a mother as her, I had to be a mother just like her. I think I have to confess that during my pregnancy with Mason I made comments to my husband, mother and close friends that I thought parents who used controlled cyring or Save Our Sleep were cruel, I thought breastfeeding would be easy (Bahahahaha) and I thought I would be a stay at home mum at all costs and not put my children in daycare. Ohhh the naivety. Please try not to judge me, I had nooo idea!

When Chloe was two months old I kind of reluctantly took on working from home. I was lucky because thanks to my parents I had an opportunity to work from home which meant I didn't have to leave my babies to go in to work. But over time working from home became frustrating because it can feel like you are always working and I began resenting having to work at all. I felt as though I couldn't be as good of a mother and wife as I wanted to be if I wasn't focused 100% on my kids and husband all the time and doing all of the housework myself. I ended up becoming quite frustrated and angry with the situation.

I recently decided to try going into the office two days a week which has not only given me some time outside of the home, but has also given me my evenings back! Since November last year, most nights of the week I have put the kids off to bed, finished tidying up and then started work. I feel so much more calm and relaxed now that I am getting some time to chill after the kids go to sleep. I feel like this new routine is actually making me a much better wife and mother. I am a little more calm and less highly strung because I am not constantly so overwelmed!

So this isn't exactly what I had in mind when I thought of becoming a Mum and I have fought against it for a while, but now that I have finally given into working 2 days a week, it's really not so bad! I've come to realise that every Mum is on their own journey to find what works best for them and their family. I don't have to live up to the expectations I had of being a Mum before I even became a Mum! In fact, I now swear by Save Our Sleep, Breastfeeding was by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and I use daycare and work 2 days a week! hahaha I'm sure there is a saying about exactly this kind of irony, but I can't think of what it is...

Did you have a vision of what kind of a parent you would be? Does your reality look different too? Leave a comment below. I would love to hear from you :-)

Sophia xo

Being a Present Mum

I came across this image online today (I think it is originally from here) and it resonated with me because at the moment I am consciously trying to be a more present Mum. It is so easy to get caught up in how much has to be done between work and home that it is easy to just let the kids come along for the ride without being present in each moment with them. Probably the worst culprit for my lack of presence on a day to day basis is my Iphone. Between Facebook, Instagram, Email, Pinterest, Youtube and Blogger I can often get lost staring at that stupid screen! I admit I find it cute when my 11 month old girl grabs my phone, puts it to her ear and says "Hawwo Dada" and then holds it in front of her and starts punching the screen with her finger. She has even on more than one occasion managed to slide the button across to unlock the screen! But it also breaks my heart because I know she is imitating me and I know that if she is imitating this action so much at 11 months old that it is because she has seen it on so many occasions in her short life. How many moments have I lost in the past 11 months because my face was buried in that screen! My husband and I try to pull each other up on it, but sometimes it is such a habit that you don't even realise you are doing it! My 3 year old has now said to me a few times "Put the phone down Mummy!". As I type this I cringe!

So I am making it my mission to be more present every day with my family. An example of a time when I know I am really bad at this is when I take the kids to the park. Now that Mason is getting older he can happily play on the playground without needing me to be right next to him the whole time and Chloe isn't quite old enough so she will usually be sitting in the pram playing with a toy or eating some food. In the past I would have probably sat on the bench and watched Mason whilst intermittently looking down at my phone. I'm not saying that I would completely ignore the kid, I would still push him on the swing and watch him come down the slide, but i would often hear him say "Mummy, watch this" because he had looked over at me and seen that i was looking at my phone. Yesterday we went to the park and I left my phone under the pram (only taking it out to take a few cute photos and then putting it straight back!) and enjoyed playing with him the entire time. We played hide and seek and it was the best fun ever!!!

Here are those cute photos :-)

Being a more present Mummy is definitely one of my new goals! Is this something you struggle with too? How do you make sure you are present in the moment? I would love to hear from you :)

Sophia xo

PS. I think I am going to try and print of the picture at the beginning of this post, frame it and hang it somewhere in my house as a daily reminder!